Lifestyle: Anxiety and self care update

I’ve taken such a long long long break from blogging – which is kind of ridiculous because I was only blogging for about a couple of months and then I took a break of over a month.

During the past few weeks, I have been spending time focusing on some major decisions happening in my life. Part of this process has been going house hunting. I have never purchased a property before and so it’s been a very very VERY steep learning curve of understanding the jargon and the legalities as well as choosing a location. I’m anxious about purchasing the house before Brexit – What if house prices fall after Brexit and then I’m stuck with negative equity? What if interest levels fall and I’ve committed to a few years of a higher interest rate on the mortgage? Decisions decisions.

I will at some point do a blog post on how I went about purchasing property if and when that does eventually happen. This is especially because I’m looking to purchase through a lifetime ISA. This is a relatively new type of ISA in the UK and I haven’t come across a single other person who’s purchased a property through the same method which is why it’s been even harder than somebody purchasing through a normal deposit just through a bank account or an instant cash ISA. Apart from being a first-time buyer and trying to learn all of these new things I have also been going to view lots of properties. I currently live in Cambridge and I really enjoy living in Cambridge but Cambridge is such an expensive city to live in and in terms of the size of the house I want to live in I can’t afford to purchase that size of property living in the centre of Cambridge so it’s been really quite difficult trying to decide on a compromise between the size that I want vs how close to work I want to be.

Of course the aim of lots of millennials in a similar situation to me is that eventually you don’t really want to be working for somebody else you want to be working for yourself or you want to be working from home where you want to be working on your own business and that would be such a dream come true. At the moment I’m nowhere near that goal so I had to also keep in mind the commute to my current workplace which is in the centre of Cambridge.

Amongst all of this going on, I also went on a very long trip to Greece. Our holiday was almost two weeks long which is the longest trip that I have ever been on and the longest that we’ve ever been on together. It was such an incredible trip we went from London to Athens. From Athens we went Island hopping and then returned back to Athens and after an eight and a half hour flight delay we eventually returned back to London. I was quite anxious about this holiday because obviously it was so long and we had to move around so much which meant that we could take as much stuff that I would need for this length of holiday but I found some really good ways of getting around that which I will share that in a separate blog posted.

In the lead up to the trip there was an issue with the flights I had originally booked and this happened around April time and the trip was in July (well end of June and leading into July). This meant that I had to keep contacting the company who had originally sold me my flight which had been cancelled and they still owe me a significant sum of money which I will be pursuing so I won’t go into any detail at least until after that has been resolved. This meant that my anxiety levels in past few weeks has been so high because of dealing with the negativity of that issue.

There have been many factors affecting my anxiety levels including the house hunting and the issues learning all about the lifetime ISA and dealing with this flight refund which has been almost impossible to resolve so far. On top of this, I’ve had issues with my sciatic nerve and my wisdom teeth and generally been feeling run down. And I think all of these things combined made me not want to do anything and just sit around the house and watch TV. I managed to go to the gym a few times and originally I had said that during my summer holidays I would go to the gym everyday and just do a 20 minute to 30 minute session so that my muscles wouldn’t get worn out. But I wanted to go everyday and that hasn’t happened so I feel like I’ve let myself down even though in hindsight it was perhaps an unrealistic goal. Instead of focussing on the negatives I need to focus on the positives!

I have got another holiday planned but that is in August and that is for my 30th birthday. I’m really looking forward to that holiday but I know that my house hunting will not have been resolved by the time I leave for the holiday – that will be hanging over my head.

In the meantime, I have decided to become a little bit more proactive and kicked myself out of this funk. I think a few days of sitting around watching Queer Eye  on Netflix and watching Billions on Now TV has been enough time for me to adapt to my surroundings and allow for the anxiety to come down.

I’m currently in London for a few days visiting family and just one day of having a change of surrounding and not being at home in front of the TV has made me feel a million times better. I’m determined that I will use the rest of my summer holiday better and try to achieve some of the goals I had set up for myself before all of my anxieties kicked in. I will start by establishing a routine for myself for example waking up at the same time every day and going to bed at the same time every night… Dedicating a set amount of time to things like blogging and exercise.

With managing anxiety, for me, it is about finding pleasure in things like cooking and enjoying my environment and not letting myself dwell on the factors causing anxiety and recognising that there is no benefit in sweating over the things I cannot control.

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